Mind Nomad Writing

order into disorder. meaning into chaos. pattern into shadow. i am left wondering how much of this is reality and how much of this was fabricated in the dark labyrinth of a mind bent on destroying itself. every attempt is like a beautiful landscape seen from afar. when observed from a distance the tranquility is alluring. everything in the right place, nothing misdirected, nothing obscure. on closer inspection a fire burns deep within the depths of the serene forest, poison contaminates the placid waters. misplaced, misguided, overcome. like a pane of glass cut too thin. translucent, crystal appearing adequate. too easily shattered leaving razor sharp reminders of inadequacy scattered all around, sending piercing shrapnel into the retina, not easily removed. it’s like a key designed for one door. when finally used, the door swings open to reveal yet another door with an entirely different keyhole. destined to be the bystander in this tragic scene. forever drawn to save the fatally wounded victim, forever doomed to standing shellshocked drenched in horror and the blood of the innocent. the pain is evident, billions upon billions of nerve endings spill out of the gaping wound as i watch in astonishment, waiting to find direction. panic sets in. heart rate quickens. breathing becomes shallow. thoughts race. a once three dimensional existence flattens. the compression is constricting. trapped under the weight of unrealized purpose. these masquerades are becoming exhausting. the hoax was always set to fail. once discovered, a fraud the last horizon is home. when recognized, will the farse be detected? even when identified will the ghost be confronted? or will it be allowed to haunt undeterred? a spector granted every right to assume ownership. this is guilt. sentenced to witness the unquenchable pain. to hear the anguishing cries of humanity. only to watch as a helpless accomplice. i am the culprit. i am dissonance. i am incongruence. i am entropy.

#i am. Confront. OBEY. embRACE.