Mind Nomad Writing

do ever fear the skeleton you try so hard to hide will wake up and leave the confines of your fragile body? take a breathe a walk straight through your skin. your insides walking around for all to see. every broken bone and blemish dancing to the sound of your voice. 

do you ever wonder if ‘relationship’ was a cleverly invented phrase for economy? simply the calculated business of supply and demand. or the subtle art of manipulation. does every heart come with a barcode? if so, i am nothing more than a consumer. does my soul adorn your mantle place? if i fell from the map would i then land at your feet or swim through the waters of your mind? 

do you even think that breathing could be voluntary or that you were built simply to break? do you ever close your eyes and hope for a disaster? a swift and sudden end. one so brilliant and original it will never be forgotten. but there’s no turning back once you’ve experienced the sweet and unsettling embrace from the grave. just ask the nihilist who sleeps with his ideals below the ground.

#i am. Confront. OBEY. embRACE.

beneath the placid surface i float. suspended below the dark water, where i find my rest. this is peace. this is silence. no sound but the soft rolling and crashing of the waves above. i am removed and i am free. a beautiful isolation. nothing will find me here, though try they may i am lost beyond rescue. i have out evolved the need for guilt or pain. emotion is nothing but an extra weight that will tie you to land. sorrow and hope were born to the same mother. sorrow murdered hope because it was sick of being ignored. and sorrow became obsolete because blood speaks louder than words. some may call this an escape, but i call it an empire. and nothing is real here in my kingdom, all is a shifting shadow, an illusion of what really exists. but substance has no value in this timeless landscape and apathy covers over a multitude of convictions. but the currents are changing and this present darkness is an ominous sign. panic and insecurity have stirred the water and the pressure is thickening. i look desperately for something to cling to. i plunge my fingers into the ground but the sand offers no stability. the sharks have begun to circle as they follow the fresh scent of fear. this is my impartial judge, sent with a mouth full of standards to test my deeds. and his bite is absolute. my motivation has tracked me down and i have nowhere to turn. maybe next time i will re-think my definition of home. consequence or no consequence this is remorse.

#i am. Confront. OBEY. embRACE.

my eyes scan the page from line to line. all the red letters blur and swirl through my vacant mind. like waves on the shore, they will crash against my skull and then quickly recede back to the pages they came from. the wind caresses my skin and dances in the treetops as i stand before an endless green ocean of trees, with a blank expression.

#i am. Confront. OBEY. embRACE.

is it true that an entire ocean, in all it’s pride, could be bottled up inside one single shell? and then set free one day by the brave little girl or the curious little boy who has enough faith to put their ear to the shell? all uncontainable beauty aside, we cut down the jungle and we built efficient little gardens. don’t be so naive sweetie, you’re swallowing the same growth hormones that gave our lettuce a spine and drinking the same pesticides that gave the carrots a tongue. if theology can control our god than maybe he lives in our imagination. i’m done playing in this seasick game. at least the rules are simple enough: wash only your own feet and never get caught frowning. the captain said he spotted land but we capsized at the docks. grace died in the pews. we may walk upright on two legs but that doesn’t mean we can talk with the sun. since when did poetry compose the rigid structure of our rulebook? o god save us from our own clever minds.

#quippy_little_musings

let’s call this is symbiotic relationship. we can’t abandon this photosynthetic process. my pupils dilate from the light of our love. i am the clock that eats at your skin. if you’re looking for protection, or maybe just confinement, i give you permission to crawl into my mouth. it’s more comfortable than a bodybag and safer than a maze, with just as many turns and deadends. i started the metallic fire that has been consuming your bones and burning in your marrow. we need no introduction. i am the cartilage that is wearing thin between your joints. i am the analog bird that you dreamt about. i soar between the clouds in a digital sky. everything looks different under this pressure. let’s call this a symbiotic relationship. but now that i think about it, i may just be your parasite.

#i am. Confront. OBEY. embRACE.

life compressed in an ever shrinking space.

line up and wait patiently. time is irrelevant now. this is the march that transcends borders, an indiscriminate procession that only requires the breath in your lungs.

some limp wounded, some stumble blind. some are brave and walk alone. some claim to see through the clouds and some jostle to lead the parade. some run fearlessly to the edge, some dig their heals into the soft soil. 

i am only a passenger on this spinning merry-go-round. for now i walk on its back but soon i will be under its skin. nothing will be left but the evidence that i was anything but invincible. the end result is all the same. the sky may fall but it will never rust.

#i am. Confront. OBEY. embRACE.

wait, there’s something going wrong here. i should have know, i should have seen the look in her eye. leaving a trail of scattered hopes in her wake. princess of a kingdom of vultures that feast on mankind. i can see the crown you wear so proudly, it was made with skin and bones. you keep walking to the shore to meet the roaring tidal waves. i’ll kiss your salty, blue lips and wake you up. you limp back bruised and battered with tears in your eyes. i’ll grab your fragile hand and whisper softly into your ear. you’ll smile and then run back to the beach. this sand and his sting is your comfort zone. the ambulance is always one step ahead and the hearse is one behind.

#read-b4-itburns

“Under Construction. Please excuse our dust.”
#quippy_little_musings

the sun sneaks through branches and steel bars. 

-i wake up and eat in fear and anticipation of the creatures. 

the sun uncovers its shy face. 

-enter the hideous creatures. 

the sun smiles overhead and gently caresses my back. 

-the atrocious creatures form into one indistinguishable mob and utter in one deafening, foreign voice. 

the sun casts its spell of euphoria on utopia. 

-i pace nervously, pretending to forget about the ever present creatures. 

the sun delivers its last rays of hope and warmth. 

-exit the hideous creatures, limping and wounded. 

the moon peers in behind glass and concrete. 

-the creatures haunt my dreams, i can never escape them

#quippy_little_musings

drifting weightless in the sun kissed air. just like every other morning. just like every day before the sun rose with a new promise of unending abundance, confirming the creeds we nurture in our hearts. today we rule. today we thrive. 

yet somehow i can tell that this day is not like the others. the air is thin and a chill enters my body. the familiar melodies praising the empire do not emanate from the trees. the constant motion of the world at our feet has been put to rest and in its place arrives an eerie stillness.

i look to find solace in the faces of others but i only find arenewed sense of tension the pride we all used to wear so boldly has seemed to vanish over night. 

but how can this be? this kingdom we built with our hands stood unchallenged as the sole proprietorof glory. a community filled with vast riches. walls lined with gold, sweet splendor dripping from the ceilings and covering all the heirs of greatness with triumph. 

lionized and demonized by all the outsiders. but today our close-knit hoard seems more like a society of strangers with no ties to bond one to the other. even my closest companions seem to be choking down an unbearable secret that cuts like glass in their throats. 

but what can it be? is this an unstable paranoia? is this just the suspicion that dwells deep within? undisturbed yet waiting to manifest itself at the right moment. 

no, i can see it in their eyes. they knew this would happen all along. as our once solid fortress begins to separate and flake lifelessly to the ground below i come to the realization that this was always our fate. flawless beauty fades and all around ruin is within sight. 

anger swells inside. this can’t be the end. this can’t be how our eternal summer falters. we cannot be robbed of all our prominence,left to humiliation and defeat. 

all around me friends, neighbors, acquaintances drop to the ground. they fall in one motion, some struggle to regain awareness but most just sink without a fight. 

i will not allow this to be our final chapter. if we are going out we are leaving in a flash. with my teeth set to the edge i find the kerosene. i’m setting it ablaze. 

in glory we were born. in glory we lived. and in a blaze of burning glory we will forever be remembered.

#read-b4-itburns